Narbohring

So, the first draft of the Narbohring guide for the system is done. While all the possibly interested parties have been emailed, if you want to see the word doc or the pdf, just log onto didfactory@gmail.com. Email Mark or me if you want the password, as it's really Mark's thing and I'll let him regulate access. Also happy to email the damn file directly if that's more convenient.

Anyway, version 1 has a number of errors, mistakes, and cheesy writing that I'm trying to correct. Also, while I think there's enough weird mystical and magical shit going on, there's not enough suggestions for political intrigue and small-stakes kind of adventures. Trying to add that now.

Also trying to make it more GM friendly. There's a lot of stuff in Wayfarers that doesn't jive with Narbohring, and I was also at a loss on the demon and monster front. I'm not a huge fan of cat and dog people, and artifacts named after Egyptian gods. I'm cool with that being in Mark's giant sourcebook, because if you want to play a catman pharoah, well here's the game for you. But it just ain't Narbohring. Hell, I didn't even have dwarves or elves, which I hate about as much as Mark hates airships. Why does every fantasy world have to have forest-dwelling fags and mountain-dwelling white trash? It's more derivative that dy/dx. No offense Mark; again, it just ain't part of the world I wanted to provide.

I'm also going to codify cities and dungeons better- have stats for population size, governement and resources, and suggest the challenge level of the violent places.

I'd like to say I'm open to suggestions about what to put in, but the truth is that I'm pretty picky about how this thing looks. More important, if any of you care and have time, is to read it and tell me what is cheesy, stupid, or incoherent. If I've been a good GM at all, it's in large part due to you players who quickly and loudly bitched or bitch-slapped me when something just wasn't right.

Anyway, version 2 should have:
-changes to the historical intro, as some of that writing is just repetitive and atrocious
-GM's section on suggested house-rules for Narbohring
-stats for each city
-a lower-level dungeon description in the style of Petrarch's crypt

Specific questions I have:
-we have a bunch of named spells in the spell lists, Fess's this and Nael's that. In a couple places, I've added those NPCs into the world... good idea? Or should some shit like that be left unspecified?
-I'm too close to it: is the whole demon-archon-Duuran-Aprill clone thing retarded? I'm going for poetic/bizarre. I just don't want it to be too cliche.

Also, there will be a map. Hopefully, a nice professional quality one.